


Change is Coming

by TheDuchessOfArendelle



Category: Glee
Genre: Beth is back in Quinn's life in a big way, College, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, Some Fluff, Yale!Quinn, Young Parents, parenting, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22302292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDuchessOfArendelle/pseuds/TheDuchessOfArendelle
Summary: "... I made my way towards the front door, but hesitated in opening it. My hand hovered over the knob and I thought, ‘Just ignore it. Go back to bed and everything will be okay.’ The knocking continued and I took in a deep breath before opening the door and plunging feet first into unknown waters."Quinn wakes up one morning with a feeling in her gut. A feeling that her entire life was about to change. For better or for worse, she wasn't sure yet.Warning: Minor Character Death
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60





	1. She's Still Here

**Author's Note:**

> There are some things that are ever so slightly AU in this story. Quinn had Beth at 16 instead of 15, making Beth 4 now. Quinn is at Yale as a pre-med student instead of acting. Judy and Russel are back together, though Quinn still talks to Judy on occasion.

Have you ever woken up one morning knowing your life was about to change?

Just… feeling it in your bones? The proverbial peace before the storm. That’s what it was like for me the morning of October 15th.

I remember waking up feeling a heaviness in my chest, like my heart was beating out an SOS. My stomach did flip flops like it was trying to warn me of something. The room was deathly quiet, almost serene in its stillness. But something was off. Something didn’t quite feel right. The first thing I did was reach for my phone. I clutched it as I dialed her number and held my breath in anticipation, waiting for her to answer. After four stress filled rings she picked up. I happily release the air I was holding hostage in my lungs. 

“Quinn?” she asked, sounding a little confused but not at all unhappy to hear from me. I let a smile slowly rise to my face.

“Good morning, you.” is all I said, happy to hear her voice but still feeling slightly nervous and unsettled.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this early morning wake up call?” she joked. I could hear glasses and plates clattering in the background along with voices playfully bickering back and forth.

“Please.” I say. “As if you haven’t been up for hours already. Tell San and Kurt I can hear them arguing over the last piece of French toast by the way.” I heard her laugh and relay the message; the feeling of uneasiness went away a little. I threw the covers off of my body and stretched as I rose from my bed, making my way towards the small kitchen.

“But really sweetie, why are you calling so early? I didn’t expect to hear from you until at least 2 in the afternoon.” she poked fun at the fact I was known to sleep in a little late on occasion.

“Ha ha. I’ve never slept past 12 thank you.” I joked back, pouring water into the coffee maker and pressing a cup in.

“Seriously Quinn, what’s wrong?” she asked sweetly, concern lacing her tone. I sighed and watched the coffee maker steam away as it heated up the water inside.

“Nothing is wrong. Really. I just… I just wanted to hear your voice. Is that so bad?” I asked, eyes cast downward. I still wasn’t used to being this vulnerable with anyone. Especially her. But she brought it out of me. She made me feel safe enough to be vulnerable around. She always had, even in high school.

“It’s not bad at all.” she assured. I could hear the smile in her voice and it made me smile back. The coffee machine beeped loudly, breaking the silence that followed her response. I grabbed the Yale coffee mug and graciously took a sip of the life giving nectar. I rolled my eyes at my own dramatics and took another sip before speaking again.

“Besides.” I began. “I wanted to wish you luck. Rehearsals for Funny Girl start today, don’t they?”

“Yes! Isn’t it so exciting?” she practically squealed.

“Yes it is. You’re going to do incredible, babe.” I assured her.

“I’m so nervous. What if I’m not good enough? What if I trip on stage? *Gasp* What if I forget the words to Don’t Rain On My Parade?” she started listing all the things that could possibly go wrong with the production and I tried to hold back a chuckle.

“As if you could ever forget the lyrics to Don’t Rain On My Parade. Weren’t you belting that in the womb?” I asked. 

“Quinn! I’m being serious.” she whined.

“So am I.” I mock whined back. “Listen, sweetheart. You’re going to be incredible. How many 20 year olds can say they were cast in a Broadway production of Funny Girl?” I asked.

“Barbra Streisand. She was 22 and a half when she was cast as the illustrious Fanny Brice.” she answered seriously.

“Exactly.” I stated. “So you’re in perfect company.”

She huffed but I knew she was smiling on the other end of the phone.

“When can I see you?” she asked, all traces of pouting gone.

I smiled, finally feeling at ease.

Just as I opened my mouth to say, ‘Two days and I’ll be in New York before you know it.’, loud knocking assaulted my door. I looked at the time on the microwave and frowned. 9:10 a.m. The second round of knocking spurred me on, and I began slowly making my way towards the door. The feeling was back with a vengeance. I knew. I could feel it. The moment I opened this door my life was going to change. Be it good or bad.

“Quinn?” I heard the concerned voice call out to me over the phone, but I didn’t answer her.

I made my way towards the front door, but hesitated in opening it. My hand hovered over the knob and I thought, ‘Just ignore it. Go back to bed and everything will be okay.’ The knocking continued and I took in a deep breath before opening the door and plunging feet first into unknown waters.

A man with curly brown hair, thick rimmed glasses, and a nicely pressed grey suit stood on the other side of my door. He must have seen how confused I looked because he smiled gently and held out his hand.

“Are you Lucy Quinn Fabray?” he asked, his distinct New Jersey accent throwing me even more. I hesitated before answering. 

“Yes… and who might you be?” I asked, taking his proffered hand with the one that wasn’t clutching my phone.

“Sean B. Howard of Howard, Goldwyn, Berns, and Associates. May we come inside, to speak. Please?”

At the word “we” I looked around, my confusion growing by the second. He was the only person I saw standing there. Then I heard it. A rustling of sorts. I looked down, and all the air left my lungs in a mass exodus. I stumbled back a little and fumbled with my phone as I quickly brought it back up to my ear.

“...Quinn Fabray! If you don’t answer me right now I am calling the police and sending them to your apartment!” the manic voice practically yelled in a rushed panic.

“I- I… I’m sorry Rachel, I have to call you back.” was my only response as I hung up the phone, cutting off her reply before it could even be made. All the while, my eyes never left the big blue ones staring up at me. Her eyes mimicked my confusion along with the smallest amount of fear. I swallowed hard and looked back up at the man who seemed to be calmly studying my reaction.

“Is that.. I-I mean is she my dau- Beth?” was what I was finally able to stumble out. 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

I stared at the head of honey blonde curls peeking from behind Mr. Sean B. Howard’s leg. Her hair had darkened since the last time I saw her, two and a half years ago, back when I was a rising senior with big plans of taking my daughter back. Plans that Rachel, in all her wisdom and kindness, talked me out of. A swirling whirlpool of emotions was rushing through my head. Happiness. Fear. Confusion. Excitement. Dread. Doubt. Disbelief. Hope.

Tears sprung to my eyes the longer I stared at her and I suddenly felt very dizzy. Mr. Howard, ever the observant one, quickly moved forward to put an arm around me for support. I moved away from his hold, hand outstretched. He backed away to give me space, but still hovered in case he needed to catch me at a moments notice.

“Are you alright Ms. Fabray?” he asked, voice dripping with genuine concern. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and nodded. I looked down and saw Beth. She looked terrified now and I forced myself to pull it together. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her. I slowly straightened up and ran a shaky hand through my hair. 

“I’m okay. I’m fine. Really.” I assured, forcing what I hoped was a friendly, reassuring smile on my face. 

“Where are my manners. Please, come in. Both of you.” I smiled a little brighter now and gestured for them to enter. Mr. Howard kept a worried eye on me, but gave a small appreciative smile as he held Beth’s hand and assured her it was alright to come in. I live in a fairly nice, albeit small, apartment, so I led them the short distance from the entryway to my living room.

“Sit. Please.” I urged as I motioned for them to sit on the small grey sofa. Mr. Howard smiled at me again and sat down on the couch. I watched as Beth hesitated for a second, then somewhat clumsily climbed onto the couch. I noticed that she was fairly small for her age, and found myself smiling at how cute she looked settling into the couch.

“Um, I, can I get you two anything? I was supposed to go grocery shopping today so I don’t have much, but I think I may have bottled water in the fridge? Maybe a few colas? Wait can you drink soda? Can she drink soda? Is she old enough? Maybe I have some orange juice left. That would be better than soda right? Orange juice? Or, I can run out to the store really quick and pick up some apple, or grape? Or I-” I knew I was rambling but I couldn’t stop. Word vomit was spewing from my mouth and I could seemily do nothing to stop it. Luckily, Mr. Howard stopped me by holding up a hand and giving a small chuckle.

“We’re fine Ms. Fabray-” he started.

“Quinn. You can call me Quinn.” I interjected. He gave me that same reassuring smile and nodded.

“Then I insist you call me Sean. We’re fine. We actually just came from a diner not too far from here. Didn’t we, Bug?” he looked at Beth and gave her stomach a little tickle. She giggled a little and nodded. My heart melted at the sound.

“De pancakes were de bestest.” was Beth’s quiet reply. She was so adorable. Everything I thought she would be. I felt the sting of tears spring to my eyes once again and my throat tightened. I cleared it in an attempt to stop myself from breaking down in front of the two people sitting across from me. 

“Are you talking about Big Al’s Diner?” I directed at Beth, inserting cheer and interest in my voice. She looked unsure if she should speak to me directly and looked up at Sean. I watched as Sean nodded his head, indicating that it was okay for her to talk to me. She looked back at me and nodded shyly.

“Yes.” was her simple reply and I smiled warmly at her.

“Oh, I go there all the time. If you think the pancakes are good, you need to try the waffles with whipped cream, sprinkles, and chocolate fudge.” I told her, like it was a secret. I watched as her eyes widened in excitement.

“I wanna try dat! But, my mommy says I can’t eat chocolate.” she started to say in excitement. Then something changed. Like a realization fell over her and she came back to her senses. Her face fell and she became quiet again, almost sinking further into the couch. Sean smiled sadly at her and grabbed her little hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

I watched the whole exchange and swallowed hard, preparing myself to ask the question that was on my mind since the moment I opened my door.

“I don’t mean to be rude Sean but, who are you exactly? And why are you here with…” I trailed off, my eyes flickering to Beth’s sullen form. Sean looked over at Beth and back at me, eyes suddenly very sad and shoulders slightly hunched.

“Hey Bug, do you want to watch Doc McSuffins?” he directed his question to Beth, forcing a somewhat pained smile on his face as he reached into the brown leather briefcase he’d brought with him and pulled out an iPad and a pair of pink and purple headphones. I watched Beth nod and reach for the iPad. Sean placed the earphones on her head and pressed play on the tablet. He made sure the girl was fully engrossed in the cartoon before looking back at me with the same sullen face as before.

“I know this must come as a big shock to you. Some strange man and your daughter just showing up on your doorstep, seemingly out of nowhere…” he began.

“Huge understatement.” I cut in. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and took it out to see about a dozen text and missed calls from Rachel and a few from Santana and Kurt. I guiltly ignored the incoming call from Rachel and returned my attention back to Sean.

“Yes, well… the thing is, and there’s no easy way to put this… Beth’s mother… Shelby is… well, she- she died.” Sean explained, clearing his throat and quickly wiping at his eyes. My heart stopped. It literally skipped multiple beats at the news. My eyes widened to impossible sizes and I stared at Sean in complete shock and disbelief.

“Wha- I mean… I’m sorry- what?” I asked, completely confused and thrown for a loop. I must have heard wrong. I must have. Shelby was…? Shelby Corcoran? The woman she gave her new born baby to? Rachel’s biological mother, Shelby? Oh God… Rachel. How was she going to handle this news? A million thoughts ran through my head and I could not stop for a single one of them.

“Wh- when did it happen? I mean- H-how did she…?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words out loud. Sean looked at the ground, still trying to compose himself.

“She uh- she was sick for a few years now. Cancer. Ovarian. The doctors gave her an complete hysterectomy and had her on a very aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatment but uh- we found out it was too late. The cancer had already metastasized to her lymphs, lungs, and pancreas. She didn’t want to spend her last few month's in the hospital, so she went home and prepared for…” his voice cracked and he stopped talking. He took in a deep breath and glanced at Beth to make sure she wasn’t watching them. Beth, for her part, was completely engrossed in the children’s show. I watched him swallow past the same lump that was lodged in my own throat before continuing.

“These are uh- *sniff*- some papers Shelby had me draw up for her. Last Will and Testament, Trust Fund for Beth, personal letters and such for Beth and her other daughter-” he began, sitting the same brown leather briefcase on my coffee table and reaching for some papers.

“For Rachel?” I interrupted again, somewhat shocked. 

“Yes…” he trailed off, looking slightly confused. “I’m supposed to go to New York to break the news to her later today. Wait, how do you kn-”

“Please don’t.” I cut him off yet again and he looked even more perplexed. “Please don’t tell her. Let me do it. Let me break it to her first. Rachel’s my… she’s my girlfriend. She has a big day ahead of her today and she doesn’t need this right now. I’ll tell her. It may be easier hearing it from me.” I finished, wiping away the tears that continued falling from my eyes. Sean looked shocked at the news Rachel and I were dating but nodded in agreement.

“Alright. I’ll let you tell her first. But I still need to go over everything with her. Shelby left her some things as well, and she wanted to make sure I delivered the videos she recorded and the letters she wrote to Rachel in person.” He explained. I nodded in understanding. He retrieved some very official looking documents from his bag then looked at me. His entire demeanor changed, and he looked so serious that I felt the need to sit up straighter in my chair. He held up the papers, making sure I got a good look at them.

“I’m not going to lie to you Quinn, I tried to talk Shelby out of this when she first proposed the idea. Shelby is… was… my little sister, and my wife and I would love nothing more than to take this little girl in and raise her as our own. But Shelly Bee was very persistent.” He sat the papers down on the coffee table and slid them towards me. I picked them up with shaky hands and looked over them. My eyes widened again and I looked back up at Sean. Sean’s expression remained unchanged as he watched me stare down at the documents in disbelief.

“She wanted you to have full custody Quinn. Insisted upon it. Even told me if you refused, to find a way to make you accept.” He paused and leaned forward. “But, I know you’re still very young Quinn. Practically a baby yourself. And you’re a full time college student on top of that. Like I said, my wife and I would love nothing more than to take our little Bug in.” He continued, staring at me. I swallowed, hard.

I hadn’t heard from Shelby or Beth since before graduation…

This… this didn’t feel real. I felt like this was a dream or a nightmare, I couldn’t decide which. I’d given Beth up for a chance at a better life. For both of us. And now she was back in my life, possibly for good… but was I ready for that?

I’ve spent so many nights dreaming of Beth. Dreaming of the day I gave birth to her. Dreaming of the first time I’d held her; fresh out of my womb, all sticky and wrinkly, and pink.

And Rachel.

Rachel had spent many a night holding me while I cried over the daughter I gave away. And now… here she was. Right there in front of me. Beth was mine if I wanted her. And God, did I want her. I’d always wanted her. But I needed to do what was right for her. 

I looked over at the girl in question just in time to see her look up at me. Her big blue eyes were shining up at me and a smile played at the edge of her lips, having just found something in the cartoon amusing. And I knew the answer then and there.

I reached forward for the shiny black pen Sean had sat on the table beside the documents and began signing the papers in front of me. I heard Sean let out a disappointed sigh, but when I looked up, I saw the resigned smile he had on his face. He looked over at Beth and placed his hand on the full head on blonde hair beside him. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of Beth’s head. She wiggled a bit, but overall kept her attention on the screen. 

When I finished signing the papers, he gingerly took them from my hands and started to look them over. He signed and initialed a few spots then placed the documents back in his briefcase and gently closed it. He cleared his throat and tapped on Beth’s shoulders to get her attention. 

Beth looked over at him and took her headphones off. He smiled at her, holding back tears.

“Remember what we talked about on the way over here?” He asked her. I watched Beth slowly nod her head and sneak a glance over at me. I smiled at her and she looked back at Sean.

“Well, it’s time, Bug. This is your biological mommy, remember what I told you that meant?” Beth nodded again.

“I was in her tummy and she gaved birth to me.” Beth repeated quietly. Both Sean and I gave watery chuckles.

“That’s right Bug, you were in her tummy and she gave birth to you. So, that makes her your other mama. And now that mommy is gone, you’re gonna live with her now.” Sean nodded his head over to me. Beth’s eyes started to water and she shook her head no.

“No! I don’t want to live with her. I want to stay with mommy. Where’s mommy? I want mommy.” She asked and my heart dropped into my stomach. Or was it in my throat? I couldn’t even tell at this point.

“I know, Bug. I know you do. I miss your mommy too, but I told you… she’s not here anymore, remember? She’s… she’s in a better place now Bug. And you have to live here, with Quinn now, okay?” Sean struggled to get out. Beth continued to shake her head and scream.

“No! I want mommy! I want mommy! That’s not my mommy!” Beth pointed at me and the tears I was fighting so hard to hold back began to fall and fall hard.

It looked like Sean was fighting a losing battle when it came to his tears as well. He gently put his hands on both of her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

“Listen Bug, mommy’s gone, and she’s not coming back, okay? I know you’re sad, and I know you’ve been put through so much change lately, but this is how it’s got to be.” He paused to wipe a tear from Beth’s eyes. 

“What did mommy tell you to always remember?” Sean continued, and Beth stared back at him, remembering the words Shelby said to her every day before she left.

“She said she would always be hwere with me. Even if I couldn’t see her anymore, she would still be hwere.” Beth repeated with a sniffle.

“That’s right Bug, and she is. She’s right here with you. Even if you can’t see her, she can see you, and she’ll always be here for you.” Sean assured Beth, then leaned over and pulled her into a warm hug. I watched the two, wiping tears from my eyes and trying to collect myself.

When she’d finally started to calm down, Beth broke the hug and looked over at me, eyes puffy and red from crying.

“Can we have brweakfast for dinner? Mommy use to let us eat brweakfast for dinner.” Beth asked, little face fully serious. Sean and I looked at each other and couldn’t stop the laughs that spilled from of us.

“Of course we can.” I sniffled, still chuckling.

***************************************************************************************************************************************

“And this is the spare room. It’s not huge, but it should be big enough for Beth for now.” I finished showing him the tour of my small apartment. He wrote something down and nodded.

“Alright, everything looks good so far. And as stated in the custody papers, for the first 3 months I’m going to be dropping in on you without warning to check on how everything is going. And if I feel that this is not a safe or conducive environment for Beth, in any way, I’m taking it to the judge and taking her back to New Jersey with me. Do you understand, Quinn?” He asked. I squared my shoulders and nodded.

“I understand.” I stated.

“Good. I’m going to go get her things out of the car. I’ll be sending the rest of her stuff next week. Remember, you have until next Monday to change your mind about the custody agreement. And you have until Thursday night to tell Rachel about Shelby. That’s when I’ll be going back home after getting Beth settled.” He explained.

“Yes. Yes, I know. I’ll talk to Rachel tomorrow. As for Beth…” I looked over at the girl silently napping on my couch and smiled.

“You won’t need to worry about me changing my mind.”

************************************************************************************************************************************

“Alright then. I just have a few more questions, then I’m heading back to my hotel.” He told me, shuffling through pages of the notebook in his hands.

“Ask away.” I told him, shrugging my shoulders a bit.

“Do you use any illegal drugs?” He asked, reading from a list.

“God no.” I stated, face scrunched in disgust. He nodded in approval and marked his page.

“Do you drink alcohol?” He asked.

“I drink alcohol seldomly, on occasion, and never in excess.” I assured. He nodded again and marked his page.

“You’re technically not old enough to drink… but I’ll let it slide. As long as you’re not going out to bars every night... Okay next, are you currently married or have you ever been married?” He read.

“No, not yet… though I hope to be someday. The married part, not divorced.” I joked awkwardly. He just looked at me and marked the paper.

“And what is your employment status?” He asked and I froze a little.

“I’m sorry?” I asked, a little hesitant. Sean looked up at me and guestered around.

“Your employment status, what is it? How are you paying for everything? Your bills, your food, your schooling, and now Beth?” Sean asked deathly serious. I cleared my throat and kind of shrugged.

“My grandfather passed when I was around 12 and left my sister and I a sizable trust. I gained access to mine when I turned 18 and that’s what I’ve been living off of. Plus, I received an academic scholarship that covers a large part of my tuition.” I explained. He raised an eyebrow.

“And this trust, it’s enough for you to live off of and take care of Beth? I’m assuming you’ll still be attending classes, so you’ll need to pay for daycare, and that's not cheap. Also, there’s food and clothing expenses, kids her age usually grow out of their clothes before you even get them home from the shops. And how about transportation? How do you get around? Then there’s doctors visits, dental appointments, etc. Do you have health insurance? Are you prepared to add Beth to it?” Sean began listing all of Beth’s needs and my head started to spin. I hadn’t thought about any of those things. I sheepishly cleared my throat to speak.

“I uh- I’m still on my mom’s insurance.” I told him. His eyes looked sympathetic and weary.

“Quinn, it’s not too late. I told you, we could take Beth in. It’d be no trouble and I can assure you, Beth would be happy and want for nothing.” He spoke softly. I looked at him and shook my head no.

“No, I can do this. She’s my daughter and I won’t just give her away. Not again. My trust is fairly large. It’s enough to support Beth and I for a while. I can make a budget and plan everything out. And if I need to get a part time job, then I will. I know I can do this. I mean, there has to be some reason Shelby trusted Beth with me.” I told him, setting my jaw in determination. Sean stared at me for a long moment then let a small smile creep to his lips. 

“Okay then. I’m gonna need a copy of your financial statements, and you need to get your own health insurance and add Beth to it, but other than that, I think you’re all set.” Sean put out his hand for me to shake and I gently took it.

“My sister did entrust you to take care of her daughter, so I’m going to do the same. Please, don’t let either one of us down. And most importantly.” He paused and looked over his shoulder at the still napping figure on my couch.

“Don’t let her down.” Sean finished. I gripped his hand tighter and nodded my head.

“I won’t. I swear.” 

Sean nodded his head at me one last time before letting go of my hand. I watched as he gathered his papers and placed them back in his briefcase. He then silently made his way over to Beth, still snoozing, and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. It looked like he’d whispered something in her ear, but I couldn’t quite make it out. When he was finished, he stood up straight, cleared his throat, clutched his briefcase tighter, and walked towards the door. I followed him out, opening the door for him. He gave me a watery smile as he stepped through the doorway.

“Hey!” I called out at the last minute. He turned around, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“I just want you to know that, you’re welcome here anytime. Not just the 3 month trial period. You’re Beth’s family too, and I’d love it if you continued to be in her life.” I finished. He looked at me, and I watched as a large appreciative smile crossed his face. He stepped closer to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I was stunned for a moment before I slowly lifted my arms to return the embrace.

I felt him let out a shaky breath before saying, “Thank you, Quinn. I’d like that very much.” After a long pause, he finally stepped away from me and wiped at his eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Quinn.” Sean told me with a wave.

“Wait.” I called out to him again. He stopped and looked at me expectantly.

“Just… something I’ve been wondering about... if you and Shelby were brother and sister, why the different last names? As far as I know, Shelby never got married and Corcoran was her maiden name, right?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. 

Sean shrugged and simply said, “Different dads.” before stepping into his shiny black Jaguar and pulling out of the parking lot.

I walked back into my apartment and silently closed the door. I went over to Beth’s sleeping form and gently lifted her off the couch. I carefully carried her the short distance to my bed room and laid her down on my bed. She wiggled a little but remained asleep. I smiled down at her and brushed a strand of blonde curls out of her face and behind her ear.

I never would have thought.

Of all the scenarios that flew through my mind of what could happen when I woke up this morning, this was never one of them.

Tears started falling from my eyes again and I wondered, hadn’t I cried them all out yet?

But they kept coming and I wept.

I wept out of sorrow for the loss of Shelby. She was gone. Dead. And I hadn’t even known the woman who took my daughter in and raised her as her own, was sick.

And I wept out of sadness for Beth. The little girl had been through so much. Her mother passing; having to move all the way from Lima to New Haven to live with a stranger who says she’s your other mother. A mother that initially gave her away.

Then I wept out of guilt. Because Shelby was gone, and I’d gotten my little girl back… and I was so happy about that. Not about Shelby being dead of course, but about the fact that Beth was mine again.

And then, I wept the hardest for Rachel. Just as Rachel had held me many a night over the sorrow of giving Beth up for adoption, I had held the brunette as she cried over the biological mother that she never really got to know. One that seemingly wanted nothing to do with her. And I knew, deep down, Rachel was still hoping one day that Shelby and herself would have this big coming together. She confided in me once, that she’d hoped to be on stage one day, belting out some big legendary Broadway number, and she’d look down to see Shelby sitting there, smiling up at her. 

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket once again, and did my best to wipe away my tears. I cleared my throat and glanced once more at Beth to make sure she was okay before quietly backing out of the room and partially closing the door. Making my way back into the living room, I took in one more deep breath before answering the phone.

“Rachel. Hey…”

TBC


	2. Three Hours, Quinn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn talks to her mom, who surprises her with some unsolicited insight. Rachel is super pissed at Quinn. And Beth just wants her Unicorn Crispy's, by any means necessary.

“Rachel… hey.” I said hesitantly into the phone.

“Don’t you DARE ‘Rachel, hey.’ me Quinn Fabray.” Rachel practically screamed into my ear. I winced at her harsh tone and tried to explain myself.

“Listen Rachel, I-” Rachel cut me off again as she began ranting.

“No Quinn, you listen. I have been calling you and texting you for the better part of three hours. THREE HOURS, Quinn; with no contact and no response after you hurriedly terminated our call, under very suspicious circumstances might I add. Do you have any idea how worried I was? How utterly and completely terrified? I recruited everyone I could think of to call you. Santana, Brittany, Kurt, Blaine, my fathers, Sam, Mercedes, Noah, hell, even your mother. Your mother Quinn. And all went straight to voicemail. I just- I can’t-.” I heard Rachel pause and take in a deep breath before releasing it slowly.

“What the hell were you thinking, Quinn?” I heard the tiredness and exasperation in her voice, and I felt even worse than I already did. Which was a feat in and of itself. I was completely at a loss for words. How could I explain myself? How could I explain to her over the phone everything that happened in the span of 3 hours? The lawyer, Beth, Shelby dying? How do I begin to tell her everything?

“I- I’m sorry, Rachel…” is all I could manage. I listened as Rachel let out a scoff followed by a bitter laugh.

“You’re sorry? That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” I could tell she was waiting for more of an explanation, but I couldn’t find the words. She took my silence as an offense.

“Wow Quinn. Just… wow.” she sniffed lightly and I knew she was wiping away tears. My stomach clenched at the thought.

“Well, that’s wonderful. I’m glad to hear you’re sorry. And you know what else? I’m glad to hear you’re okay. And now that I finally know you’re okay, I can tell you, don’t even think about talking to me. That shouldn’t be a problem for you though, right?” The blow hit hard and below the belt.

“Rach I-” she cut me off yet again.

“I need to get back to rehearsals. I’ve already missed half the day trying to get in contact with you. Goodbye Quinn.” I heard the dial tone and immediately tried to call Rachel again. Predictably, it went straight to voicemail. I threw my phone on the couch in frustration. How do I always manage to fuck up shit in my life so completely? 

“Shit.” I muttered to myself.

“You said a bad word.” I was startled by the small voice and turned around to see Beth shyly standing in the doorway. I slowly made my way over to her, and bent down to smooth her sleep tousled hair.

“I know, I’m sorry… I thought you were sleeping.” I said, trying to blink away the tears of frustration that threatened to spill over, and mustered a smile.

“...I’m hungwry….” she said quietly. I glanced at the microwave to see it was 12:47 pm. It was hard to believe that my life had been completely turned upside down and inside out... and it wasn’t even 1:00 o’clock.

“Oh, okay sweetie. No problem, let’s get you something to eat then, ok?” I said hurriedly. I picked Beth up and brought her into the kitchen. I deposited her on the granite countertop and frantically looked around for something to fix. I checked my refrigerator, hoping that somehow, food would magically appear. I had no such luck and I slammed it in frustration. I saw Beth jump a bit in fright and mentally reprimanded myself for scaring her. I shot her an apologetic smile and assured her that everything was fine.

When the fridge turned up empty, I went towards my cabinets.

“Ah ha!” I said triumphantly when I came across half a loaf of whole wheat bread and a near empty jar of crunchy peanut butter. I grabbed both and held them up for Beth to see.

“How about a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of OJ?” I asked, unscrewing the top. Beth pouted and shook her head no.

“No.” she told me firmly.

“No?” I asked, confused.

“No,” she said again.

“Just- - give it a chance Beth. You might like it.”

“No!” she screamed this time.

“Why not?” I asked, exasperated.

“Cuz’.” was her simple reply. I ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to keep my composure.

“Because why, Beth?” I tried not to get frustrated.

“Mommy said I not su'pose to eat pee-nuts.'' she informed me with a head tilt.

I stared at her confused, then my eyes widened in realization. The memory of Sean handing me a list of allergies and foods to avoid flashed through my mind. I put the peanut butter and bread down on the counter and ran into the living room. I quickly riffled through a few papers still on the coffee table, periodically looking over my shoulder to make sure Beth was okay, until I came across the laminated DO NOT EAT list. Sure enough, nuts of any kind, including peanut butter, was at the very top of the list, bold and in all caps. I read the explanation under it.

*Beth can not ingest or come in contact with nuts, tree nuts, pine nuts, or nut products of any kind. She is deathly allergic. Keep an epipen on you at all times. You can find one in the emergency pouch in Beth’s backpack.

I put a hand to my face and groaned. I haven’t even been watching her for an hour and I almost killed her. I was starting to wonder yet again if I had gotten in over my head. I turned back towards the kitchen and saw Beth curiously looking around as she swung her legs. I’d also left her unattended on a high counter top. I groaned again as I quickly made my way over to Beth. I picked her up again and sat her on the tiled kitchen floor.

“I’m sorry, Beth.” I bent down to apologize. “You’re very smart to have told me you’re not supposed to eat peanuts.” I praised her. Beth smiled up at me.

“Mommy taught me.” she told me, her little chest poked out in pride.

“Well, your mommy was very smart too.” I informed her. She smiled again, but it quickly faded at the mention of Shelby, and Beth seemed to draw into herself. I rubbed her back gently in understanding.

“I’m so, so sorry your mommy isn’t here anymore, Beth. She is... she was a very kind and understanding lady. But, I’m going to do everything in my power to take really good care of you. And hopefully, one day soon, we can be a family.” I explained to her, in as gentle a tone as I could muster. She said nothing, just continued staring at the ground. I sighed and put my hands on my knees to stand up. I cleared my throat and smoothed a rogue lock of hair behind Beth’s ear.

“Well Beth, in any case, it looks like we’re going grocery shopping.” I told her, picking up the do not eat list and scanning it’s contents.

“Let’s go grab our jackets.” Beth still said nothing, but followed me towards the front door.

I reached for her coat first, a big puffy pink monster that was harder to zip up than my pair of size 2 skinny jeans the month after I gave birth to the little girl. After a short struggle, I finally got the coat zipped and Beth looked like the world’s cutest fluffy pink marshmallow. I hadn’t even realized I’d reached for my phone to snap a picture until I heard the tell-tale noise of the camera shutter. Beth wiggled a bit in the jacket, trying to get comfortable, but quickly gave up and accepted her new life as a marshmallow. I smiled down at her and began to don my own coat, a long, army green peacoat with big black buttons. I slipped on the pair black tennis shoes sitting by the door and grabbed my house keys. I slipped the keys and my wallet in my coat pocket and reached for Beth’s hand. She was hesitant at first, but eventually accepted my hand. I smiled down at her again and lifted my eyebrows. 

“Let’s go!”

*********************************************************

The shopping trip did not… go well.

After Beth and I walked the short distance to the small grocery store around the corner from my apartment building, she instantly turned into the 4 year old kid she was and began picking up everything she could get her tiny hands on. Things were going relatively fine at first; she’d pick up a candy bar and I’d place it back on the shelf when she wasn’t looking. But then… then I’d absentmindedly stumbled onto the cereal aisle while I was looking over Beth’s list of food allergies and planning meals around them.

I’d never seen a child move with such speed or purpose as Beth made a direct B-line for the family sized box of Unicorn Crispy’s. My own teeth pulsated in pain just looking at the sugary monstrosity.

“These! Want these!” she said excitedly, and I wondered why they put the most unhealthy cereal within arm’s reach of small children. It had to be purposefully done. A marketing technique to force parents hands into buying the overly sugary cereal once their little ones tottled back over with the box.

I glanced back at the laminated list and zeroed in on the ‘*Limit sugar intake.’ bullet point. Walking over to Beth, I bent down again and tried to finesse the box away from her to no avail.

“Beth… let me see that sweetie…” I said in a sweet tone. The little girl that looked too much like me in that moment shook her head stubbornly and held the box tighter in her little arms.

“Beth sweetie, you’re not supposed to have a lot of sugar. Please give me the box of cereal.” I tried to say more sternly.

“No!” she yelled at me, beginning to draw the attention of some of the other customers. I smiled awkwardly at one couple as they walked by, pretending as if they weren’t watching the whole scene unfold.

“Beth Corcoran I am not messing around here. Please hand over the box. Now.”

“No! I want! I want!” Beth began yelling at me over and over.” We were now drawing a lot of attention from the other shoppers, and the older ones began casting disapproving looks at me. I felt my cheeks start to redden at the negative attention we were receiving. Deciding that it was time to end this humiliation, I reached for the box to grab it from her.

That… maybe wasn’t the best idea.

Beth bit my hand the moment it came in contact with the box, then proceeded to scream continuously to the top of her lungs and force tears to run down her now red cheeks. Rachel herself would have been jealous at how long the little girl could hold a scream.

Five minutes later and we were in checkout, Beth with the box of Unicorn Crispy’s and me handing over my debit card while trying to avoid eye contact with the smirking cashier and the judgy customers.

************************************************************************

So 2 hours, 3 bowls of Unicorn Crispy’s and 37 replays of ‘Baby Dino’ later, and Beth had finally passed out on the couch, crashing hard from her sugar rush. 

The annoyingly catchy children’s song still played in the background as I carefully picked Beth up and walked the short distance to lay her down on my bed for the 2nd time that day.

After making sure she was actually asleep, I left the door partially opened and softly tiptoed back into the living room. I turned off the tv, and with it the song. I flopped down on my couch and threw my head back in exhaustion.

Parenting was already proving to be very difficult, and I think I’m pretty much failing at it. It’s not like I thought this would all be a piece of cake. In fact, maybe I should be grateful that it’s not as bad as it could be. But chasing around a sugar filled bouncing toddler was very stressful and extremely tiring. How did Shelby do it?

I closed my eyes for a second, happy to finally have some peace and quiet.

That obviously couldn’t last, (I wasn’t that lucky) as my phone buzzed again and I sighed loudly. That sigh quickly turned into a groan when I checked the caller ID. I was seriously considering not answering, then I remembered how well that worked out for me last time. With another heavy sigh, I mentally prepared myself to answer.

“Hello, mother.” I began.

****************************************************************

“Quinnie, what in the world is going on? When your little friend called me in a panic saying you weren’t answering your cell phone and that she thought you might be in ‘grave danger’, your father and I nearly had heart attacks.” My mother instantly began lecturing me and I rolled my eyes.

“Firstly mother, her name is Rachel and she’s not ‘my little friend’, she’s my girlfriend and you know that. Secondly, as you can see, I’m fine. And thirdly, I highly doubt Russel cared if I was in danger or not.” I told her somewhat bitterly. She tutted into the phone and I just knew her lips were pulled tight.

“Don’t be ridiculous Quinnie. Your father loves y-”

“Well, like I said mom, I’m fine.” I quickly cut her off before she could even finish the lie.

“Then what was that all about dear? Your little fr- uh- Rachel, sounded very concerned.” I mentally commended my mother for trying to correct herself and turned my head towards my bedroom door.

“Nothing. Just… a misunderstanding. It was my fault. I… I really screwed up, mom.” I told her, dejectedly. She hmm’d on the other end and I knew she wanted to say more. She settled for,

“Well Quinnie, I’m glad you’re okay. I’ll let your father know everything’s alright. Oh you really need to pay us a visit soon sweetheart. Thanksgiving is just around the corner you know. Frannie and the boys are coming and I feel like I haven’t seen my two babies together in a long time. You rarely speak to us as is.” she chastised. I rolled my eyes once again and remembered why I rarely answered her calls. It never ceased to amaze me how delusional she could be. How easily she could just sweep all the drama and bad feeling under the rug and pretend like it wasn’t there.

“Well mom, you know why that is.” I said stiffly. The line went silent for a moment and I wondered if she’d hung up.

“You may not believe it, and he may not show it, but your father really does miss you Quinnie. Frannie too. You’re all just so darn stubborn. You get that from him you know.” she said, finally ending the pregnant pause. I shuddered to think I got anything from that man, but deep down, I knew she was right.

“Whatever. Mom, I have to go.” I told her, needing to end this conversation.

“Oh fine. Take care then sweetheart. And Quinnie...?” I listened as she began speaking more softly into the phone.

“Make sure you apologize properly to that girlfriend of yours. I know you. You feel like you have to take on the entire world by yourself. But you’re not alone. Not with her. She seems like she really cares about you. Don’t mess this up by being stubborn like him. You’ll end up with so many regrets that way.” I was shocked at the unexpectedness of my mother’s words. She didn’t even give me a chance to respond as she uttered a quick goodbye and hung up.

I stared at my cell phone in confusion. I think… I think that was the first time she actually acknowledged Rachel as my girlfriend.

I bit my bottom lip in contemplation, absorbing everything my mother had just said to me and thinking about my next steps.

I swiftly dialed Rachel’s number again, and again it went straight to voicemail. I then went into my texts and began tapping out a message.

Q: Rachel, I know you’re upset with me and you have every right to be.

Q: I’m so sorry I scared you, that was not my intention. 

Q: Rach please answer me..

Q: We really need to talk. I really need to talk.

Q: Rach?

Q: okay, you’re still not ready to talk to me, I understand. 

Q: I really fucked up rachel..

Q: sorry, I lnow you don’t appreciate that kind of language.

Q: *know

Q: Just… know that I love you and I’m going to explain everything. 

Q: Btw, I hope your rehearsals went well. I know you were fantastic, you were born to play Fanny Brice on Broadway.

Q: Rach please...

Q: I love you.

After about 20 more texts and still no response, I’d made up my mind. First thing in the morning Beth and I were getting on the first train heading for New York.

*****************************************************

Rachel’s POV

I was furious with Quinn. Livid. Completely apoplectic with rage at the fact that she’d refused to answer my phone calls. Call(s). With an ‘s’. And I’m not being dramatic. I know I can, on occasion, be dramatic and a tad overbearing, but this was absolutely NOT one of those times. I actually had cause to worry. One second I was happily conversing with my girlfriend, the next, I hear her open the door and then go dead silent. Only to then hear a strange man’s voice followed by said girlfriend hurriedly, and suspiciously might I add, rushing me off the phone with positively zero explanation. On top of that, I recruit every person in her life I can think of to call her, and still nothing? For three hours? Uh-uh. No way. That was cause to be worried if ever there was one. 

So my worry-turned-anger at Quinn for her mysterious radio silence led to me to have a terrible first rehearsal. Simply horrendous.

For one, I was stripped bare by the director and the head producer in front of the entire cast and crew for being close to 4 hours late on the first day without any good excuse. Then, I couldn’t remember any of my lines because I was very nervous and self aware of the stares and whispers my fellow cast mates were not so discreetly throwing my way. Which only intensified with each flub of my lines. On top of all of that, I had the worst night’s sleep in the world thanks to the guttural moans of one Santana Lopez and whatever promiscuous hussy she’d dragged home from the bar that night. Needless to say, I was still in a very, very foul mood. 

So when I was pouring my coffee and was startled by the loud, frantic, knocks at my door the next morning, followed by the sounds of none other than Quinn Fabray herself calling my name, let’s just say I was both angry and perplexed… and maybe just the slightest bit happy that she’d bothered to jump on a train to see me, and presumably, try to make things right.

I stood in the middle of my kitchen, staring at the front door and wondering if I should even bother letting Quinn in. Then I heard her say,

“Rachel please, let me in! It’s an emergency!” and suddenly, Quinn sounded very panicked, as the knocking became even more frantic. All the anger drained from my body, immediately being replaced with concern. I rushed towards the front door, not even bothering to look through the peephole, and undid all of the locks; swinging it open in what felt like one swift motion. I barely had time to notice that two blonde blurs rushed into my apartment, heading straight towards the bathroom. I stood there, dumbfounded; my brain trying to process what my eyes must have mistakenly seen. Was that Quinn, and a child? What the hell was going on?

I continued standing by my open front door, confounded by what just happened. After 5 minutes, I heard the toilet flush and the faucet run. At the sound of the bathroom door shutting, I turned my head in that direction. I watched as Quinn rounded the corner to the living room. She looked… tired. Her hair was slightly tousled, sticking up in various places. Her clothes looked a little disheveled. And, she let out a deep breath as she ran a still damp hand through blonde tresses. For a long moment we just stood there staring at each other. Quinn’s under eye bags matched mine and I could tell she hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep either. I broke eye contact to look down at my watch. It was only 6:48 a.m. She must have gotten the early train to get here before 7. I finally decided to break the silence.

“Quinn… What are you doing here? And what the hell kind of ‘emergency’ was that?” I asked, incredibly confused. I saw Quinn open her mouth to answer, but heard a small voice speak before she could.

“You say bad word…” the tiny voice said as it’s owner stepped from behind Quinn, where she had apparently been hiding. I stared at the little girl. She looked like she was around 3 or 4 years old. She had curly blonde hair that reached her shoulders and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen. Something about the way she nervously sucked in her bottom lip made me think of… My eyes widened and I looked between the two of them. That’s when Quinn decided to speak.

“Rachel… this is-”

“...Beth?” I finished for her, directly speaking to the 4 year old still holding onto Quinn’s leg.

“Beth.” Quinn repeated. “She... that is Shelby… *sigh*. Rachel, we need to talk. Maybe you should have a seat.”


End file.
